I think our whole lives we have been taught to consider the things that don't truly matter. We have been consumed by greed, ends justifies the means logic and negativity. If you don't act or look a certain way - you are judged. Beauty is determined by your weight and not your soul. Even though as a culture we have so much to be thankful and happy for, we have learned not to be content with what we have and always want more.
This weekend was a hard weekend for me because I was in an emotional tailspin. I felt like I was at the bottom of a well with no light to shed hope on anything. No matter what happened, I approached it with negativity. It was like I wanted to punish myself and continue to feel horrible.
However, today I was given a lesson by one of my best friends. The lesson my friend gave me was a simple one. It was a lesson she shouldn't have had to teach me. She reminded me of things I'd forgotten long ago. The lesson was to look at what really matters and what will fade away. Yes, I was depressed and sad, but I have my health. I have a husband who loves me, friends that will be there for me no matter what, a roof over my head and the opportunity to do the things in life that I enjoy. I have the ability to change the things I don't like about myself, but I need to also learn to love me just as I am.
What really matters isn't losing weight or fitting into that perfect dress. What matters is believing in myself - believing that I can and will change. There is so much negativity in the world and I don't want getting healthier to be one of those things - it is a positive change. I don't want to become "beautiful" on the outside at the risk of losing the person I am on the inside. I am going to strive to make the changes I need to make, but to look at them from a positive point of view. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
I can't believe that I forgot or don't consider how much good there is in my life. How much negative energy was eating away at my soul. I have so much to be thankful for and I owe it to myself to remember that on a daily basis. Afterall, its the good and the positive things that really matter.